How does my boyfriend keep letters from their ex-girlfriends?

My boyfriend stated that the envelop from their ex was at storage space and it again that he read. But later on I experienced an atmosphere he didn’t away throw it and I also had been appropriate he kept it. This hits me personally as strange I have ever given him because he has thrown away all of the letters and cards. He stated he’s got no explanation to help keep them, and therefore he does not keep letters and cards from individuals. So, how come he keep letters from their ex girlfriends? Not merely one but from 2 girls that are different.

Then how come the letters didn’t make it in the trash, if it really didn’t really mean anything if he says that things like this don’t matter? Alternatively it had been set aside carefully, it has additionally occurred with photos from their ex girlfriends, and I also simply learned that a picture is had by the envelop of their ex.

I realize if individuals like to keep photos but letters?, even though its disrespectful datingranking.net/biracial-dating/ in my experience, but during the exact same time We feel just like if somebody needs to keep photos or letters from ex-girlfriends they nevertheless are hanging on to one thing.

We don’t understand what the letters suggest to him precisely. He constantly informs me we don’t trust him, but he keeps things such as this from me personally. Trust and sincerity goes both methods. We don’t keep things from him.

I’ve been thinking about methods on how best to confront him about any of it. We’ve been dating for pretty much three years, i recently had a sense he didn’t toss the envelop away that day.

Reaction:

Individuals keep letters and photos for many different reasons. But, mostly because individuals keep such mementos simply because they recreate memories that are unique unique emotions (realise why does partner speak to an ex).

And keeping letters or images of a ex doesn’t mean that is necessary the man you’re seeing really really loves you any less. It could simply suggest he felt at that time that he likes the memory of how.

And simply as you are dating somebody does perhaps maybe maybe not signify that individual has got to throw in the towel all their memories of history. Asking anyone to provide up their keepsakes so that you can show you respect isn’t being extremely respectful.

Therefore, our most readily useful advice is never to “confront” the man you’re seeing in regards to the situation. Considering a discussion as a conflict frequently turns it into a confrontation. An easy method to take into account this nagging issue is to look at it as a discussion—a conversation where your objective would be to realize their standpoint without wanting to judge him or alter his behavior (see talk about problems).

Without reacting in a way that makes him feel ashamed or fearful of your reaction, you may find that understanding how he feels will bring you closer together if you try to understand why those past memories are so special to him. Everything you hear may harm your emotions or cause you to feel insufficient in someways, however you can’t alter his previous memories. And he feels about the situation, he will most likely try to see the situation from your own point of view if you try to understand how. Such a real sharing of emotions might help produce greater closeness and understanding, if you’re able to learn how to keep your anxiety and worries from being released in hostile and/or protective way.

And quite often relationships work most useful when partners feel secure and close, but additionally allow one another to own a feeling of their identification. Relationships usually don’t work when anyone feel threatened and attempt to get a handle on areas of their partner’s behavior, aspects which folks are entitled to—such as memories of these previous and keepsakes which are very important for them.